Saturday, February 12, 2005

Story of a madman, the final chapter....

“Ted can you help me with these bags?” Lucy asked as she came through the door.
“Sure hon give me just a sec.” I replied as I set the paint down. I walked over to her and grabbed them from her. “What in God’s name are you doing Ted?” she said as she looked at the plastic lining the living room.
“Oh I decided to repaint the living room.” I answered as I set the bags on the counter. “Is that ok?” I added.
“Well I guess.” she replied with a frown. “I’ve never known you to be one to take on such a heavy task.”
I looked at her with such hate in my eyes I thought they would burn up. “Well I just felt like a change.” I said. “What about you? Don’t you want a change?”
Lucy looked at me with wide eyes. “Change is one thing Ted, but this? Have you gone mad?”
I began laughing. “No dear I just thought the room would look better with a fresh coat of paint.” I moved toward the fireplace. “Come over here and look at the color I chose.”
She came over and looked down at the can. As she did that I grabbed the axe. She looked up and I saw smile on her face.
“Now Ted, you really don’t think you could do it do you? Lucy said as she started towards me. “You ungrateful little SHIT!! After all I have done for you?! After everything we’ve been through?”
I brought the axe out and started to back away from her. I began to shake.
“Scared are we?” she added with an evil grin. “Good Ted be afraid. You can’t kill me. No matter what you do I will always come back.”
She took a step towards me and I swung the axe. I felt it go into her head and I heard the sound like a coconut being cracked open. Blood splattered my face. I pulled the axe out and swung it again and again. A blood curdling scream enveloped my mind. It was one full of hate, anger, pain and death. I didn’t know if it came from me or from it. I was in a state of frenzy. I just kept swinging and swinging. I finally stopped when the axe slipped from my blood covered hands. I looked around and saw blood everywhere. On the plastic. On the walls. On the kitchen floor. I looked down and saw what was left of it. It was just a pulsating mass of flesh and blood. As I stared at it I saw what seemed to be thousands of small arm like tendrils coming from out of the mess. I screamed and ran towards the door. I felt something wrap around my ankle and it pulled me down. I felt a searing pain in my leg as the thing began to wind itself up towards my knee. I struggled and began to kick at it. I pulled myself towards the door. My hand landed on the axe handle. I picked it up and began to chop away at the bloody mass. Once again the screams flooded my head. It felt as if my eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. The thing kept winding further and further up my body, squeezing the life out of me. I gave one last swing of the axe and the thing became still. The tendrils crushing me finally relaxed. I stood up and once again looked around. I began laughing. Laughing like a hysterical madman.

That’s the last thing I can remember. Now I sit here in an office painted in soothing white. I guess so as to not upset the patients. I sit here and talk about what happened and they just nod with approval and write something down. I looked at the Doctor and he smiled.
“So Ted, do you feel any remorse about what you did?” the doctor asked. “Do you feel any pain or sadness for chopping your wife up?”
I began to become uneasy at the questions he was asking.
“Do you wish you could take it all back Ted? he added. “Do you pray at night that you will be forgiven for cutting your wife up in pieces you sad little fuck?”
I looked up and he was smiling. Large sharp teeth jutted out of his mouth. He began to stand up. “Do you miss your son Ted? Oh how good he tasted. How do they say it? Finger lickin good?”
I began to cry.
“I told you Ted. I’ll always come back.” he said.
“I warned you that you could never get rid of me that easy”
I started to scream.
“Come now Ted. Do you really think that we wouldn’t have soundproof walls in here? With all the screaming that goes on anyway you won’t sound any different than all the crazies here” He came around to my side of the desk.
“Oh Ted I’ve missed you. Shall we begin where we left off?" he said as he leaned closer.
“We’re going to have so much fun”

Friday, January 21, 2005

Having a WONDERFUL time being accosted by Ceasar and his merry men... Posted by Hello

Three coins in a fountain....Ahh the Fountain of Trevi... Posted by Hello

A beautiful shot of an arch taken from the colosseum...It was photoshopped to make it black and white...I think it gives it an ancient feel... Posted by Hello

New travels abound....

It's time for a new adventure fiends....Now a little of Rome to help you through the days....

Thursday, January 20, 2005

It seems as if it goes on forever....This is probably the quietest and saddest place in all of Normandy... Posted by Hello

Wednesday, January 19, 2005


This is what some of the soldiers had to face besides the Germans. Posted by Hello

These are a few of the gun emplacements that fired down on the Normandy beaches in the morning of June 6th,1944 Posted by Hello

Friday, January 14, 2005


Utah beach and a few barges used to make a floating road to get equipment onto the beach Posted by Hello
I'm watching Band of Brothers again and I thoroughly enjoy just as much now as when I first watched it...It amazes me the things that the soldiers had to do on June 6th, 1944....From landing at the beaches of Normandy to parachuting behind the lines...I'm only sorry I never got to visit Bastogne or Holland to get photos...I only have them of Normandy.....I hope you enjoy....



Where it all started...Omaha Beach Posted by Hello


Looking down Omaha.... Posted by Hello

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Cute kid story ahead....

So I'm teaching a language group with some of the kids that are on the lower end of the class, and today one of the sections was what the head has...
So I point to a nose and the child is supposed to say "A head has a nose" and so on...So I point to his mouth and he says, "A head has lips", so I told him that it was a good guess but that lips were part of something else....So I point again and say to him "A head has?" and his reply was "Diseases??"..I about fell out of my chair...
Ok so maybe it wasn't a cute story....But I thought it was hilarious...

Ahhhh...The 80's....

They were an intersting time now that I look back on it....I miss the days of the tv when 2 guys played women just to get women? Anyone know which show that was?
Believe it or not I was walking on air......Anyone??
And there was that little man who no one would have thought would become a good actor...Ahh Shazbat.....
Remember the cool white suit with the light blue t-shirts underneath and wearing no socks with those white loafers??
And there was little Ricky Schroder with that shiny untensil that some are born with in their mouths......
Then there was "Whatchoo tawkin bou Willis?", which turned into "Whatchoo tawkin bou bitch?", to "Whatchoo tawkin bou yo honor?"....
Ok enough of the tirvia....
I could go on and on...
OK I will....
In my wee mind I really think that the 80's had alot of really crappy music...Oh sure there was Bruce and the Eagles...Aerosmith had some good music then..Billy Joel...And then there were people like Debarge...I mean a guy whose freakin name is "The Barge"?...Named after a freakin flat bottomed boat that usually carries garbage on it? I actually saw a video of his last night...I couldn't turn away from it...It was awful...A bunch of really feminine men prancing around with a bunch of ugly women, all of which couldn't dance, a then there was The Barge riding around on the top of the seat in a convertible with theis big dorky smile and his parachute pants and his black version of the Flock of Seagulls hair-do....
Excuse me while I go and throw up now.....

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Accents...

Accents are a funny thing...Anywhere in the World you go, someone has an accent...Even anywhere in the US...I was watching Fear Factor last week and there was this guy from the East coast and he kept talking with a British accent, so the host asked him if he was from England and this is what he said...."Uh no I just play soccer with some guys from England and I ended up with this accent."...
Huh? Ended up with an accent? I mean was it like a rash? Once you get it it just spreads all over? So if I go and play frisbee golf with a bunch of preppies am I going to end up talking like them? "Yes dahling. Whatever you say daahling." If I go and hang out in Cuyemongue am I going to end up sounding like them?
The guy sounded like a dork and I'm pretty sure everyone except his soccer buddies thinks he is a dork...

And with that here is a photo of the view from our room when we were on our honeymoon in a small, quaint, little town in Northern Italy called Bressanone...





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